Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
