His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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