I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
