My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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