My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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