ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
