Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
