I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
