did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize