she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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