# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
