Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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