Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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