i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
