WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
