I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
