that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
