im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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