kristin has been a bad kristin
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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