I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
