He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize