I'm really into asian looking animals
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
