the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
