I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
