My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
