And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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