: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Of course I have a pirate flag
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
