Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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