we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
