No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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