Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
