Just fell off a train. Bad.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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