I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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