i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
