I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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