Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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