I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
