yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
