My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
