...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
