Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
