If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
