i already hear my dad disowning me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
