remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Text me some of your sweat
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
