he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
