We won't sleep together?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
