You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
