Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
