that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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