Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
