We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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