so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
