Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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