Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
