I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
