Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
